May 2012
10 posts
Is it me or is America obsessed with Greek yogurt...
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May 24th
Another week of the Klondike contest! Vote for my...
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May 21st
On the double decker Mega Bus looking to join the...
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May 19th
Instead of "I'm falling to pieces," "I love...
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May 16th
My joke is at #11! Keep voting for me!...
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May 16th
Vote for my joke!...
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May 16th
I love Facebook's birthday reminders. Help me...
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May 16th
Found Waldo!!
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May 12th
Children of celebrities always have an easier time...
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May 3rd
I guarantee there's at least one member of One...
May 1st
April 2012
10 posts
Tim Meadows's stand up was pretty good, but it was...
Apr 30th
So excited to see Tim Meadows do stand up at the...
Apr 27th
There are already lines at the Apple Store looking...
Apr 25th
Yeah, I'm cool. I read the Hunger Games (...I...
Apr 19th
Instead of the Voice, let's do The Body. Judges...
Apr 17th
There were just two planes totally boning in the...
Apr 17th
Brad and Angelina will soon get to have sex for...
Apr 14th
That's the last time North Korea buys a rocket...
Apr 13th
Any other AT&T customers notice service at new...
Apr 6th
Any word on Kate Winslet's boob scene in Titanic...
Apr 5th
March 2012
4 posts
I think Riana's new song with Chris Brown is gonna...
Mar 16th
So many comebacks on SNL lately. First Lindsay...
Mar 12th
Gotta love malls with 2 Auntie Anne's on Free...
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Mar 3rd
This having to decide what to wear to work thing...
Mar 2nd
February 2012
13 posts
I want to put my hand on Snooki's belly to feel...
Feb 29th
TOMORROW: See me perform stand up comedy at RFD in...
Feb 29th
I'm gone from Apple, but I'll still be making...
Feb 28th
Facebook newsfeed is starting to resemble Reddit...
Feb 17th
Untitled
Happy 20th anniversary to @Weezer
Feb 14th
People were giving Stevie Wonder a standing...
Feb 13th
ANDDDDD IIIIIIIII EEE IIIIIIII am dead
Feb 12th
I'd like to see a Temple Run treadmill at the gym
Feb 6th
I think the Republicans are paying WMATA to do...
Feb 6th
Lol the Papa John's website won't even load
Feb 5th
Super Bowl? Gonna go out for Chinese food and see...
Feb 5th
I now call going to the bathroom: taking a "Temple...
Feb 5th
Ah, the first 6 weeks of winter
Feb 3rd
January 2012
16 posts
Practicing my stand up with a bottle of hand...
Jan 26th
I'M PERFORMING STAND UP TOMORROW @ RFD near...
Jan 25th
I would love to be a piece of shit. I might sound...
Jan 25th
Apple is like FUBU in China. #FUBU jokes. Remember...
Jan 22nd
Ironically after the snow, the funeral home had...
Jan 21st
The guy in Memento was probably victim to a lot of...
Jan 20th
I forgot about Robin Williams's random underwater...
Jan 16th
SNL should invite Sinead O'Connor on to rip a...
Jan 13th
Rumors say Lindsay Lohan might play Elizabeth...
Jan 10th
Ladies, learn a little bathroom etiquette please....
Jan 10th
Why wait until death to wish someone to rest in...
Jan 8th
Girls! Isn't it embarrassing when you go to a...
Jan 3rd
A large amount of new divorces are citing Facebook...
Jan 3rd