January 2012
16 posts
Practicing my stand up with a bottle of hand...
Jan 26th
I'M PERFORMING STAND UP TOMORROW @ RFD near...
Jan 25th
I would love to be a piece of shit. I might sound...
Jan 25th
Apple is like FUBU in China. #FUBU jokes. Remember...
Jan 22nd
Ironically after the snow, the funeral home had...
Jan 21st
The guy in Memento was probably victim to a lot of...
Jan 20th
I forgot about Robin Williams's random underwater...
Jan 16th
SNL should invite Sinead O'Connor on to rip a...
Jan 13th
Rumors say Lindsay Lohan might play Elizabeth...
Jan 10th
Ladies, learn a little bathroom etiquette please....
Jan 10th
Why wait until death to wish someone to rest in...
Jan 8th
Girls! Isn't it embarrassing when you go to a...
Jan 3rd
A large amount of new divorces are citing Facebook...
Jan 3rd
A 92-year-old man in New Rochelle fought off a...
Jan 3rd
Elton John wants Justin Timberlake to play him in...
Jan 3rd
Happy Last Year!
Jan 1st
New Years Resolution: write down yours' so I can...
Jan 1st
December 2011
15 posts
No one at work complimented me on my beautiful...
Dec 29th
Help Wanted: 'Help Wanted' sign designer
Dec 28th
With Christmas over, what's Buble to do now??
Dec 28th
With Kim Jong Il dead, I feel so much more ronery
Dec 19th
Do you ever pre-game with food at home so you...
Dec 17th
All over NYC are advertisements with Demi Moore....
Dec 16th
We Bought A Ticket To A Different Movie
Dec 16th
At the Comedy Cellar. Pumped to be in such a...
Dec 15th
Grand central update: coworker found cockroach in...
Dec 13th
The Art of Shaving inspires me that one day I can...
Dec 12th
Headed to NYC with a suitcase full of red shirts...
Dec 11th
What's this new red icon on my iPhone home screen?...
Dec 6th
I like how Google+ redesigned its iOS app to...
Dec 6th
Reminder! Come to RFD in Chinatown to watch me do...
Dec 1st
November 2011
9 posts
I'll be doing stand up comedy TOMORROW at RFD in...
Nov 30th
"Biden announces scheduled trip to Iraq." (if I...
Nov 29th
I think the NFL should switch to touch football...
Nov 20th
I hope Demi goes after Bieber next. "Younger! I...
Nov 17th
Facebook has been fighting floods of porn on...
Nov 17th
If a graveyard worker is scheduled 9-5, does he...
Nov 16th
I made a 'hit' post on Reddit. Dreams do come true...
Nov 15th
Am I allowed to like Foster the People? Not enough...
Nov 8th
Thanks, Siri!
Nov 6th
October 2011
11 posts
In LA. Immediately assuming everyone walking by is...
Oct 28th
Stand up! Comedy! Come to RFD in Chinatown tonight...
Oct 27th
Cottage cheese 1. sounds gross 2. looks gross 3....
Oct 27th
I'm doing stand up again TONIGHT at RFD in...
Oct 27th
Gilligan left his island and rode the metro today....
Oct 22nd
AT&T's 4G speeds on the iPhone 4S are crazy high
Oct 16th
Trying to download iOS 5 is like traveling the...
Oct 13th
Toilet seat cover sheets also make excellent bibs!
Oct 10th
I'm an official eBay hand-model...
Oct 8th
I'm going to rename myself Cross Dissolve so...
Oct 3rd